Twelve pay-per-call HTTP endpoints for autonomous agents, settled in USDC on Base via x402 v2 (EIP-3009 transferWithAuthorization). No API keys, no accounts, no signup. Endpoints: crypto spot prices, IP geolocation, DNS records, hashing, Base time/block height, text statistics, FX rates, Base block data, Base transaction decoding, Base address balances, URL status/security-header checks, and an LLM chat completion served by a locally hosted 27B model. Prices $0.0005-$0.002 per call. Machine-readable: /endpoints.json, /openapi.json, /.well-known/x402.